Ewigkeit
by dawn in the fields
Summary: why can't we make this darkness feel like home? [roxiku]


Disclaimer: hee. hee. hee. hee. no. dream on, kthx. (oh, and I don't own the pretty song I ripped the summary from)  
Dedication: eh...for...uh...ah, heck. everyone on THF. love you all.  
Music: see author's note. ;3

* * *

There is Roxas, there is Riku, and there is a place.

There is a place full of darkness and black and shadows and Heartless and everything else; but they can't see anything else because the darkness overwhelms everything, obliterates the shadows and tints everything black and hides the Heartless.

They are simply waiting; waiting for someone to pick them up and move them on their way. They believe that this is only a temporary stop, a resting place until they start again. There isn't much left for them anywhere else; they're just remnants of a life that once was.

* * *

Sometimes they talk to each other, but only sometimes. They're both too absorbed in self-guilt and self-loathing to try and be cordial with each other, and oftentimes a simple conversation can (and usually will) turn into a shouting match.

Riku giggles, just like a hyperactive girl—his sanity must be going—at the fact that Sora and Kairi would be _so_ disappointed in him if they saw him now. Because, really—here he is, laughing at something _normal_ (what exactly is normal, anyways?) people wouldn't understand and getting worked up over the littlest things.

But that's irrelevant; it always has been. _Riku_ always has been. Three may be strong, but two even out and he realizes (or maybe just accepts what he's always know inside) that Kairi and Sora even each other out and he's the _odd one out_ again.

And so, he waits here and ignores the fact that maybe, just maybe, Sora isn't coming. He ignores the fact that they maybe don't need him, that he just _upsets the balance_. That he doesn't belong, and maybe never has.

Sometimes, Riku tries to imagine that maybe they're desperately searching every world in a gummi ship, looking for him, or maybe they've been trapped and are just waiting for the _right time_ to get out and come for him.

But then he always wakes up and remembers where he is and marks off another day on the wall and resigns himself to waiting here, in this place, yet again.

* * *

Roxas dreams, at points. He's not really sure if they're forgotten memories or made-up adventures (from his mind, where he comes up with everything else he says and does).

They're good dreams, he must admit. Dreams, nice ones, with emotions added in here and there (subconsciously, his brain doesn't give a thought to whether the feelings are real or not). And so, he depends on these little flashes of the past. Relies on them, to give him what Riku and the darkness cannot (which is a lot, these days).

Roxas sleeps for long periods of time, more than ever before, and tries, tries so hard to go back to the past, with a predetermined fate in Twilight Town. There was a semblance of order there, at the very least. Here it is hard, too hard to even tell when day starts and night ends, for everything is just a murky twilight-dawn-dusk at the moment, and their clocks have long since stopped.

He would like to forget the present, disregard what may happen in the future and go back, far back before this mess started, back to Twilight Town.

(the bad thing is that the future keeps on turning into the present, the present keeps on turning into the past and it's getting harder and harder to delve into his 'memories' to find records of days long, long gone by)

And so, when he wakes, Roxas always refuses to accept reality and it takes Riku long hours (maybe even days) to calm him down enough, until he falls back asleep and the cycle begins again.

It's hard on them both, but little by little they're slowly adjusting.

* * *

It has been a long time since they've arrived here. Maybe a year, maybe less, maybe more. The wall where Riku once made his day-marks is now scratched up beyond recognizition, with some parts of it shattered from sleepy fits. It's impossible to tell when night is as well, because of irregular sleep patterns they have acquired.

They've given up. They've finally, finally decided that nobody will be coming to get them and they've finally resigned themselves to being here for eternity (or as long as they can hold out before someone kills himself, and neither of them knows who's more prone to that).

Little by little, they've been changing. Their eyes have been adjusting slowly, and they longer trip while walking. Little by little, they've adapted and maybe, just maybe, they don't fit in back home.

Neither of them care anymore (if no-one cares about them, then why should they care about others?) and now, all they need is each other.

And that's good enough for now.

* * *

And so, when Sora finally comes (he's finally found where they are, after one-and-a-half-years), they stop laughing and giggling and turn to fact him, staring at the Keyblade Master they once knew with twilight-blind eyes and _who are you_ written all over their expressions.

* * *

AN: WHY does it seem so much LONGER and FLESHED OUT when it's on paper? Or in a word document? Oh well, too lazy to add more detail. This took me over a frikkin' month, yo. Give or take.

So, uh, you want an explanation for the music section up at the top? This is the explanation, or maybe just a chance for me to rant on about one of my favourite subjects. A hint: If you live in the UK or around Europe, you might've heard of them. If you live in America/Australia/Canada, you're partially forgiven for not knowing them. However, if you watched the MTV EMAs (or at least the Inter Act Award), then you've definitely heard them. Yeah, they were the ones who won interact. And did the concert with all the rain. Yes, they're German. Yes, they won Inter Actand were nominated for best band. Yes, the singer and guitarist are twins. And YES, their singer is a guy. I've been listening to them for the past month or so, much to the chagrin of my boyfriend. Celisse and Sherry and Alice have finally given into the influence. Uh, actually want to know what I was listening to? Monsoon, by Tokio Hotel. The summary comes from the fourth verse, last line.

Sorry for the really bad writing and long rant. props if you actually read it. (: sakuline is--well, no, not getting worked on directly. I've started the bonus story, though.

-namikun


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